GRENVILLE - A municipal audit released Monday revealed that the city's parking authority employed ghost drivers for nearly a decade to monitor meters, issue citations, and collect coins that later appeared inside sealed vaults. The revelation sent shockwaves through the community, with residents expressing outrage at paying fees to entities who could not explain where the money went except "the other side."
Mayor Eli Grant, in an attempt to quell public discontent, promised reforms, including visible attendants, digital receipts, and a hotline for reporting “paranormal double parking.” He declined to say whether current fines would be refunded, citing “budget constraints and ectoplasm,” leaving many wondering if the city was prepared to pay out refunds to the living or simply keep the money in an ethereal account.
Business owner Anita Cho said ghost enforcement targeted her block while a nearby stadium enjoyed free parking "because the spirits are sports fans." She added, "They never cited me for double-parking my ghostly vehicle. It’s like they knew I was already paying."
Local resident Tom Johnson, who runs a small coffee shop on the corner of Elm and Main, said, “I’ve been here for 20 years, and every day, I see these unexplained vehicles parked in front of my shop. The meters are always expired, but I never got a ticket. Now I’m thinking maybe it was just a ghost driving by.”
Union representatives for living parking officers welcomed oversight but asked for hazard pay when assigned to haunted districts. “We’re not asking for anything extravagant,” said union representative Sarah Lee. “Just enough to cover the cost of our ectoplasmic insurance and maybe a few extra hours of overtime.”
Paranormal economist Dr. Lyle Penn estimated ghost labor saved the city $4 million annually in wages and sunscreen, costs now likely to return. He added, "The real question is: How much more will we pay for this inefficiency? And how many more receipts will we need to see before we believe?"
The authority's director resigned effective immediately, leaving only a cold breeze and a note reading “I moved on.” Council members scheduled hearings next week. Citizens demanded transparency, better signage, and an answer to why meter 114 always reads EXPIRED even when you just paid.
City council member Jane Smith said, "We need to get to the bottom of this. Are we dealing with spirits or just some very creative accounting? Either way, it's time for a change."
Officials said investigations continue. Locals said they will believe it when they see a receipt. Until then, many will be keeping their wallets close and their fingers crossed that the next citation isn't from a ghost.
In an effort to regain public trust, city officials announced plans to install new meters with built-in cameras that can detect both living and non-living vehicles. However, some residents are skeptical, pointing out that even with advanced technology, they might still be dealing with “paranormal double parking.”
As the city grapples with this unexpected turn of events, one thing is certain: in Greville, nothing is as it seems. And if you’re looking for a good parking spot, you may want to keep an eye out for any unexplained vehicles or perhaps just park under a streetlight - just in case.
The city council will hold a special meeting next Tuesday at 7 PM to address the ongoing scandal and discuss potential solutions. For now, residents are advised to carry extra cash and be prepared for anything that might come their way - or rather, from beyond it.
