BUSINESS
McDonald’s Buys Out All Local Fast Food Chains to Ensure Boo Bucket Monopoly
The fast-food giant claims this move will enhance customer satisfaction and prevent regional flavor wars.
Business
Markets, mergers, and CEO apologies — reported with the gravity your portfolio deserves and your accountant fears.
16 stories in this section.
BUSINESS
Louder Than Life 2026 Arrives With a New Companion Site Built by Lit Printz and Laughing Dragons Productions
As America's loudest rock festival returns to Louisville Sept. 17–20, ltl26.com goes live with a live map and schedule hub for fans navigati
BUSINESS
Spirit Airlines Unveils Broke Boy Fare Class In Honor Of GTA 6
Ultra-discount tier includes standing room, one shared headphone, and the right to watch another passenger play on a cracked phone.
BUSINESS
THEM 1947 and Lit Printz Launch Cross-Platform Alien Collaboration
Joint file set pairs Grey-series figure prints with a matching can-cooler STL for makers building a coordinated display line.
BUSINESS
City Mandates Emotional Support Squirrels for All Office Workers
The Department of Labor says the policy addresses 'unprecedented workplace loneliness' while acknowledging most squirrels remain unclear on
BUSINESS
Area Man's Portfolio Now Emotionally Diversified
Financial advisor recommends balancing regret, cautious hope, and one meme stock 'for the plot.
BUSINESS
Airline Introduces Basic Economy Plus Regret
New tier includes seat, bag, and a complimentary moment realizing you saved twelve dollars.
BUSINESS
HR Department Announces Bring Your Inner Child to Work Day
Employees encouraged to schedule tantrums between 2 and 2:15 p.m. near the wellness room.
BUSINESS
Company Mandates Camera-On for 'Authentic Disconnection
Leadership says seeing colleagues nod during layoffs 'preserves culture.
BUSINESS
Economists Declare Soft Landing Has Been Replaced by Soft Ambivalence
Markets rise, fall, and then check phone for other news.
BUSINESS
Tech CEO Apologizes for Calling Everything 'AI' When It's Just Math
Statement promises future products will be 'at least partially real.
BUSINESS
Digital Currency Takes Over Wallets
Virtual coins now outnumber loose receipts in city pockets as merchants adopt tap-to-speculate checkout.
BUSINESS
Virtual Reality Conference Goes Offline
Organizers cancel the metaverse hall in favor of fluorescent ballroom panels, citing 'authentic disconnection.
BUSINESS
Galactic Tourism Takes Off
Weekend packages to the moon now include luggage that weighs more emotionally than physically.
BUSINESS
Moon Base Craze Sweeps City
Urban professionals now list 'low-gravity commute' on dating profiles as lunar co-living waitlists hit six months.
BUSINESS
Phased-Out Phones Become a Thing
Collectors pay premium for devices that can no longer update, connect, or apologize for either.