SALEM - The city's ghost population has adopted energy conservation practices that officials say reduced district electricity consumption 9% last quarter, primarily by no longer leaving every lantern on "for ambience." Sustainability Director Mara Keene credited cooperative spirits in the waterfront historic zone, where tenants previously ran lights 24/7 to discourage hauntings and now run them 23/7 because the ghosts requested dimmer switches.
Local resident Sarah Thompson said her Victorian row house feels warmer despite lower bills. "They're not just spooky anymore," Thompson said. "They're spooky with ENERGY STAR values." She explained that the spectral residents had been known to leave every light in the house blazing, but now they only keep a few on low at night.
The Ghost Relations Office launched a pilot encouraging apparitions to unplug appliances they phase through and to limit wailing to off-peak hours. Compliance reached 68%, which Keene called "better than most human roommates." Skeptics argued the savings reflect mild weather and one brewery switching to candles, but Keene released meter data showing spikes only during ghost tours, when "everyone performs for tips."
Mayor Pat Ellis scheduled a ribbon-cutting for a solar array visible only at dusk. Ghost leaders RSVP'd "maybe," which organizers accepted as firm commitment. The Mayor's office provided a statement: "We're excited to see the city's spectral residents embrace sustainability and hope this initiative inspires our human citizens to follow suit."
Environmental groups endorsed the effort while asking humans to participate too. One local environmentalist, Dr. Eliza Green, commented, "While it’s impressive that ghosts can reduce their energy consumption, we should all be mindful of our own impact on the environment. After all, every watt saved is a step towards a greener future."
City Council may expand the program to office buildings where fluorescent lights have attracted poltergeists with migraines. Keene said, "You can haunt responsibly. Start by turning off the porch light you don't need to float through anyway." She added that the initiative proves sustainability and the afterlife are compatible.
In a twist of fate, one particularly mischievous ghost, known only as "The Phantom Electrician," was caught trying to rig an old-fashioned chandelier with modern LED bulbs. Keene noted, "He’s a bit of a tech enthusiast, but we’re working on educating him about the benefits of energy-efficient practices."
As the city continues to embrace its spectral neighbors, officials are optimistic that this unique partnership will set a new standard for sustainable living. For now, ghosts and humans alike can rest easy knowing they're doing their part to save the planet - or at least the electricity bill.
In an unexpected turn of events, a local ghost tour guide reported that tours have become more popular than ever, with visitors eager to see how the spectral residents are saving energy. "People want to see the ghosts in action," said tour guide Michael Graves. "It's like a living demonstration of what can be done."
The Ghost Relations Office is planning additional initiatives, including ghost-led workshops on energy conservation and a haunted house that doubles as an eco-friendly exhibit. Keene concluded, "We're just scratching the surface. There’s so much more we can do when everyone works together - whether they’re in this world or beyond."
