AUSTIN - A startup called Selene Commons opened a waitlist for "Earth-adjacent lunar co-living" and received 12,000 applications in 48 hours, despite acknowledging that the base does not yet exist except in very convincing renderings. Founder Jonah Pike said the project addresses housing costs, burnout, and the human desire to tell coworkers you cannot make the meeting because you are on the moon. Deposits are refundable if gravity remains unchanged.
City planners asked whether moon-base zoning belongs downtown or low Earth orbit. Pike suggested both and added a NFT of an airlock for early backers. "This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity," he said, adding that the NFT would be minted on the Ethereum blockchain to ensure authenticity. Skeptics noted the timeline assumed rockets, permits, and breathable air.
Wellness influencers promoted low-gravity yoga, low-gravity meal prep, and low-gravity accountability groups that meet at 5 a.m. Earth time anyway. "Imagine waking up in your zero-G bedroom and doing a quick stretch," said influencer Luna Starlight. "It's the ultimate in mindfulness." Skeptics pointed out that these activities would require significant modifications to current human physiology, but Starlight remained undeterred.
Local bars introduced Moon Base Night with tang-flavored cocktails and a cover charge described as "pre-launch orbital fee." Patrons reported feeling lighter after three drinks, which physicians said was not the moon. "It's just a psychological effect," explained Dr. Raj Patel of Austin General Hospital. "But who are we to burst their bubble?"
Economists warned of speculative bubble dynamics. Realtors disagreed, listing crater views as "emerging market." One realtor, Sarah Thompson, said, "Imagine showing off your new property with a view of the moon. It's the ultimate in luxury living." Pike countered that Selene Commons would offer transparent domes, communal kitchens, and Wi-Fi that works "most sols."
If construction begins, Pike promised transparent domes, communal kitchens, and Wi-Fi that works "most sols." Until then, residents can purchase branded helmets for walking around Austin looking prepared. "It's the ultimate in moon readiness," said Pike. "You never know when you might need one."
The mayor requested a tax incentive. Pike requested a parade. Negotiations continue at escape velocity.
Meanwhile, local artists began creating murals of Selene Commons' lunar base, complete with astronauts and space stations. One muralist, Alex Martinez, said, "It's all about the vision. People are excited for something to believe in." Skeptics noted that the nearest actual moon was still 238,900 miles away, but Martinez remained optimistic.
In a twist of fate, a local politician proposed a bill to rename Austin to "Austin-on-the-Moon" if Selene Commons ever actually launches. Pike responded with a mock press release: "Selene Commons Announces New Name for Austin: Austin-on-the-Moon." The city council declined to act on the proposal.
As the waitlist continued to grow, Pike hosted a virtual town hall where he addressed concerns and shared his vision. "We are building the future," he said, "and we need your support." Skeptics noted that this was just another way of saying "buy in now before it's too late," but many applicants remained enthusiastic.
The mayor requested a tax incentive. Pike requested a parade. Negotiations continued at escape velocity, with both parties hoping to secure the best deal for their respective interests.